


I Want To Fly

by misckpopstuff (Sphenimersus)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Drabbles, Fluff, Games, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-20
Updated: 2017-01-20
Packaged: 2018-09-18 18:22:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9397409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sphenimersus/pseuds/misckpopstuff
Summary: “A goose! I like migratory birds.”“Migratory birds fly around the world depending on the weather, right?”"I want to travel across the world like a migratory bird.”// 5 unrelated drabbles of Taeil x NCT U members





	1. Taeyong

**Author's Note:**

> Cross-posted on [AFF](http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/1214416/i-want-to-fly-taeil-nct-nctu-moontaeil-taeilxeveryone).  
> Originally posted on January 13th to 15th 2017.

**_Taeyong_ **

_He wants to fly_ , Taeyong thinks bitterly. _He wants to fly high. Be free._ The mere thought of it pains him. He wants Taeil for himself, even if he knows he doesn’t deserve to be selfish.

Taeil’s smile is bright when he speaks of his passions. Taeil’s emotions are deep when he sings his heart out. Taeil’s expressions are _ethereal_ when he’s just being _him._ Everything about Taeil. Just pure Taeil.

Taeyong wonders what he’s done to deserve such a sweet smile directed to him, especially with his jealous heart. He wants to hide Taeil away. Protect him from the countless gazes that wash over the hidden features of beauty.

Even after years of knowing Taeil, everything is the same yet not. He’s still closed off, protecting himself. And yet he’s open and bright. Shining like the lights reflecting from the ocean that Taeil would fly over. Sparkling like the stars floating in space that Taeil would fly with.

Taeyong knows he doesn’t deserve Taeil. But he knows that no one else deserves him too.

So he’ll be selfish. He’ll take Taeil for himself. He’ll hold Taeil’s hand and kiss his cheeks. He’ll smile gently when the softness of _Taeil_ melts the hearts of the coldest men. He’ll take Taeil wherever he goes, and he’ll follow Taeil to the ends of the universe.

_(What Taeyong doesn’t know though, is that Taeil wants to fly to find ways to protect the younger. To find a place both of them can hide yet be open. To find happiness without the sufferings that he knows is bound to happen. But he tries. And maybe he tries too hard because happiness is right in front of him.)_


	2. Doyoung

**_Doyoung_ **

Taeil is an enigma to Doyoung. A mysterious star the flickers like the night lights. But he realizes that he truly knows nothing about Taeil, even with their increased time together with promotions.

Doyoung first realizes it when he says “eagle” for the bird Taeil wants to be reborn into because he’s wrong. So, so wrong. Because Taeil wants to be a goose - a migratory bird, a bird that travels the world.

The second time Doyoung finds out is something completely mundane. _Taeil-hyung likes hard-boiled eggs?_ He blinks in surprise but fakes remembrance unlike Jaehyun who truly does recall that bit of information.

It’s only a few seconds later that Doyoung discovers that Taeil is a romantic. He really shouldn’t have been surprised, but he can’t help but ask to clarify. He’s left speechless when he hears, “I’m romantic, Doyoung-ah.” _Okay. Wow._

Doyoung is shocked by Taeil’s answers as they continue because with the next one, he now knows Taeil prefers linking arms. Not holding hands but _linking arms_. “I like more contact with the skin.” Those words leave his mouth open wide in shock, not from the bold statement but the mere fact.

Doyoung shakes his head, shaking off the memories because now, he was okay. Now, he knew so much more about his hyung. Now, they kept their skinship to a bare minimum in public, but Doyoung made up for it by cuddling with Taeil back home. Just like now.

Doyoung smiles and feels the gentle breathing of Taeil. He places a small kiss on the older’s forehead, muttering a soft “I love you.”

_(And Doyoung doesn’t need to know that Taeil was very much awake during his reminiscing. He doesn’t need to know how Taeil smiled because the younger had mumbled some parts of the memories. And he most definitely doesn’t need to know that Taeil intentionally snuggled up closer after hearing the confession.)_


	3. Ten

**_Ten_ **

Ten knows he can be evil at times, asking almost cruel questions. But he knows that he’s gentle at times, almost too gentle he remembers his parents telling him. Even though he knows all that, he feels like everything he does is nothing in comparison to Taeil.

The way Taeil smiles can be so, so cruel. Even more so because it’s unintentional. What makes it worse is that Taeil’s kindness knows no bound, welcoming the (supposedly) cruel treatment with countless questions. And yet, with all that kindness, his sweet answers always leaves a bitter taste in his mouth.

“I want to be a bird,” Taeil says brightly. “A goose! I like migratory birds.”

And it hurts Ten like an arrow to the heart because he’s just _so in love_ with this foolish hyung. He can’t help but ask, What if someone catches you?” _Someone like me._

And strange as it may sound, Ten thinks he sees the faintest bit of hope twinkle in Taeil’s eyes. He switches his attention back to their group as a whole, but he’s obviously preoccupied by some thoughts.

Ten is still thinking back to that moment and even watches the show when it comes out. His eyes are like a hawk’s trained onto every change of expression that Taeil has. After watching it once, Ten realizes that he _didn’t_ imagine the sparkle of hope, but he’s sure it’s only his own mind conjuring up the shine. Until he wastes a few minutes each day just to see that scene. Until he can finally recite those times in his mind.

 _Intelligence be damned_ , Ten curses when he recalls the moments in the middle of another interview. He hopes no one pays attention to his random mumbles while Taeyong is answering whatever question it is. But of course Taeil would catch on, so Ten just kisses him, asking what could possibly be considered the cheesiest line on their good planet, “Will you be mine?”

Taeil shakes the shock away and laughs, moving his lips to press against Ten’s. “Yes. Yes, I will.”

_(Of course, Taeil won’t admit that he was going to ask the same question after speaking with Ten. Of course, he’ll keep it as his secret, glad that he and Ten were on the same page in their book.)_


	4. Jaehyun

**_Jaehyun_ **

Jaehyun has always been a soft person. He watches them all fondly when they do whatever it is. And though he does it with everyone, he remembers almost every moment with Taeil. Taeil, the forest fairy, or at least, that’s what Taeil sometimes feels. Jaehyun chuckles at the memory - the time his hyung had admitted that. It had surprised everyone, himself included, but Taeil had always been strange. And a bit awkward. But it was sweet. Cute even.

Jaehyun remembers the first time they met. He’d been young. Seventeen? Or maybe fifteen, he doesn’t remember his own age. But he does remember how they were about the same height, himself being just the slightest bit shorter. At the time, Jaehyun was still practicing to be a rapper but the angelic voice of Moon Taeil made him want to sing with the fairy. It was beautiful. It is beautiful. It will always be beautiful. At least, that’s what Jaehyun likes to think.

It really doesn’t surprise Jaehyun how Taeil chooses to be a bird if he were to be reborn. This hyung of his likes animals with wings. He loves anything that can fly really. As though he enjoys the freedom of the air. And maybe that’s why Taeil loves music so much, Jaehyun sometimes think. Maybe it’s because by singing, he can _taste_ the air of freedom. Or maybe it’s because by singing, the music will freely travel through the air, like how his own notes fly beyond the clouds and into the heavens.

Jaehyun sometimes tells Taeil about his thoughts. He’s always rebuked by awkward laughter and the words, “You’re very strange Jaehyun-ah. You think too much.”

Jaehyun tells as much to Sicheng when they promote as NCT 127. The Chinese always had a strange knack for understanding him anyway, and maybe Sicheng would realize it too because he and Taeil were roommates. Strangely enough, to Jaehyun that is, Sicheng shakes his head in confusion. “I don’t know Jaehyun. Taeil-hyung is interesting, but I never really thought about it.”

It becomes an obsession. A subtle one of course, but an obsession nonetheless. Jaehyun keeps it to a minimum, only glancing at Taeil whenever he feels necessary. Even as he stares minimally, sometimes, he thinks Taeil can feel it. But the older never pointed anything out so Jaehyun just kept watching quietly.

Eventually, Jaehyun becomes bolder, staring holes through Taeil’s body even when Johnny and Doyoung join in with NCT 127. Not around cameras of course, never around cameras.

But Doyoung and Johnny are new. Well, new-ish to the group. So they approach him, not used to such actions, funding such behavior strange. Doyoung asks, “Hey, what’s up with you and Taeil?”

Jaehyun smiles, “Nothing.”

“Nothing? Right, you’re staring at him like he stole your candy or something,” Johnny snorts. “If you’re not going to say anything, I’m gonna tell Taeil.”

The youngest laughs, “That’s hardly a threat, hyung. Maybe it’ll do some good for Taeil-hyung to be in the know.” He doesn’t think they’ll actually tell the oldest, for fear of disturbing Taeil’s peace. But he underestimated Johnny’s boldness, so Taeil avoided him for a few days. And then they were cursed by that one game (7 minutes in heaven?) that Johnny (of course) suggested.

The bottle spun around three times, landing on Jaehyun first. He didn’t really care, having been to America and all. Even though it was only a year or so. He just hoped it wouldn’t land on Taeil, knowing that it would make the older supremely uncomfortable. (Though if he were completely honest, he’d love to spend some time with Taeil alone. Just the two of them. And Taeil’s lips seemed rather plush, but no one needs to know he thought that.) Still, after the bottle spins, this time with five rounds, it slows down at Taeyong, goes past Mark and Haechan (why are these kids playing?), wobbles at Johnny, and points directly at Taeil. Dead center. As if the world was working against (or with) him.

Jaehyun looks around, obviously avoiding Taeil’s eyes. Taeyong and Sicheng are silent, unsure of how Taeil would react. Mark and Haechan nod in approval (seriously, why the hell are they here?). Doyoung whistles softly. Yuta and Johnny (those bastards) whoop and holler. “C’mon, y’all better do _something_ ,” Johnny snickers. “Taeil is already waiting, Jae.”

Jaehyun turns his head to where the oldest was originally sitting, surprised to find it empty. He finds the door to his and Johnny’s room, the room they’re using for this game, already open. He sighs and stands quietly. Johnny follows him to the door and even jokes, “Want to use the closet?” Jaehyun’s mood darkens despite the older’s chortles that are blocked by the now closed door. But he still manages to hear Yuta shout, “We won’t start the countdown until you kiss!”

_And how the hell will you know if we’re kissing?_

“Jaehyun?”

Jaehyun turns to Taeil who’s sitting on a bed - _Johnny’s bed,_ he notes - and forcefully smiles, “Yes, hyung?”

Taeil shrugs, “You’ve been staring at me.”

“You’ve been avoiding me,” the younger easily counters.

A soft blush emerges onto Taeil’s cheeks, but Jaehyun isn’t sure if it’s from nerves or embarrassment - _probably the latter_. “I guess so,” Taeil trails off. “But your eyes make me feel trapped. Like you’re trying to keep me.”

Now _that_ surprises Jaehyun, “What?”

“I was ignoring it, but Johnny told me. I couldn’t ignore it anymore because it felt like you were trying to shackle me down. It scares me,” Taeil continues.

Again, “What?”

“ _You_ scare me,” Taeil blurts out. “I want to have my freedom, but I want _you_. But you make me feel trapped and suffocated.”

Jaehyun’s expression twists; he never intended for his observations to disturb the older like this.

“I don’t know. You’re just _different_. Why do you--”

The younger strides across the room from the door and grabs Taeil’s face with his large palms, pulling the older up and bending down to place his own lips upon Taeil’s. Jaehyun is careful not to stick his tongue inside the older's mouth because it’s their _first kiss, hello._ He feels the man beneath him stumble and claw at his skin, as though he was desperate for more but too shy to take the initiative. Jaehyun moves away and feels a sense of satisfaction, which lets his guard down because he suddenly admits,  “Taeil-hyung, I love you.”

The smile that Taeil gives Jaehyun practically _blinds_ him, and the response he gets is a muttered “I love you too” against his lips. This time, Jaehyun _does_ poke his tongue into Taeil’s mouth, exploring the roof and tasting just pure Taeil. _Fresh cinnamon and nutmeg_ , Jaehyun thinks, which doesn’t really make sense because Taeil is never around spices nor does he use that type of cologne. Taeil _whimpers_ and collapses on the bed while pulling down the younger with him.

Jaehyun grins when he pulls back again, staring down at his newfound lover, “I guess Johnny was right.”

Taeil snorts, “You’d best not tell him.”

Jaehyun chuckles, “It is true.”

A loud knock on the door and Yuta’s voice shouting, “Hey, it’s been seven minutes! We’re walking in!”

Jaehyun admires the flush spreading up to Taeil’s face from his neck. He leans down and whispers, “Hyung, why don’t we continue this later?”

The lock rattles and Johnny easily strides in only to exclaim, “You did the dirty on _my bed?_ ”

Yuta and Doyoung follow from behind and snort when they hear the words. Then they outright _laugh_ when they see Jaehyun on top of Taeil. Taeyong himself coughs and covers the door with Sicheng’s help to prevent his kids from seeing ‘the dirty’ as Johnny so kindly put. Not that he needed to do that because the moment Mark and Haechan hear Johnny’s exclamation, they collapse on the floor in hysterics.

Jaehyun himself wants to chuckle but he catches Taeil’s expression. A _smirk_ , a goddamn _smirk_ , Jaehyun realizes. He gapes in realization because this was _Taeil’s_ payback. He pulls away for sake of face because _hey, first time_ and they have an audience. He stands and clear his throat and helps Taeil, expression back to gentle stoicness, up. He’s surprised when Taeil collapses on the floor with wobbly legs.

Yuta chortles, “Hyung, is Jaehyun that good?”

The oldest surprises everyone when he readily admits, “Yeah, so he has to carry me out now.”

Jaehyun chuckles, believing that this is part one of his ‘punishment’ for scaring Taeil with his stares. Still, he wants his own fun, so he leans down and picks up the smaller body, bridal style.

Taeil’s arms wrap around his neck, head snuggling in comfort. They’re both sure if Johnny wasn’t so traumatized about his bed, he’d have given a teasing remark. Jaehyun smiles as he places a kiss on Taeil’s temple and whispers, “I’ll do whatever you want me to do.”

_(And Jaehyun can’t see the dopey grin that emerges on Taeil’s lips. Nor can he see the eyes that shine with delight. But Taeil won’t tell Jaehyun that this wasn’t a punishment because he’s long since forgiven the younger. Taeil won’t tell Jaehyun that his legs actually did give out from shock and that he really just wanted to feel Jaehyun carry him, large frame and all that.)_


	5. Mark

  _ **Mark**_

When the line-up for NCT U was released, Mark stressed himself because _Moon Taeil_ was part of it. But later, when they decided that they’d have two different songs, one dance and one vocal, Mark felt _blessed_ because yes, god was with him to avoid  his very obvious teenage crush on the oldest. (Okay, maybe it wasn’t just a crush because he was _infatuated._ ) Even so, Mark feels relieved because he doesn’t need to see Taeil as much as the others in the group. Being roommates with Taeyong was a relief because as much as a ‘dad’ Taeyong was, he never pried like the ‘mom’ (aka Doyoung).

But _goddamn_ , even if Mark avoids the vocal practices vocal-line goes to, when they finally perform live, Mark can’t keep his eyes off Taeil’s throat. Nor can he stop himself from hearing that angelic voice that overpowers the sound of machines and people. And he’s _so glad_ that “The 7th Sense” is performed before “Without You” because Mark isn’t sure if he’d be able the do his parts properly if the performances were reversed.

Then they have that Arirang interview. They all get questions and Mark makes appropriate remarks. It’s all good until Tail gets that question.

“Anyone would be able to guess but…”

 _A bird?_ Mark wants to say. _To fly as high as your voice goes._

“… I want to be reborn as a bird!”

Mark smiles softly, content with how well he knows Taeil.

Doyoung asks, “An eagle?”

_No, something that goes everywhere._

“A goose! I like migratory birds.”

_Of course._

“Migratory birds fly around the world depending on the weather, right?”

_Can I be the weather you follow?_

“I want to travel across the world like a migratory bird.”

_Or I can follow you wherever._

They finish at that and move on to the next few questions. The end the corner with a little bit of his English, accent rather different from his usual Korean speaking style. Mark can feel eyes of admiration on both him and Ten, but of course he notices the fond smile on Taeil’s face.

It’s a few weeks later that they do another interview, and the question is, “How would it be if _this_ member is not here?”

They go with Taeil first and Mark answers honestly, “I suddenly feel sad.”

Everybody looks at him and they agree with him because it’s true. Taeil is their supporter in their dorm. He provides them strength and energy when they’re all strained and stressed.

Doyoung elaborates, “I can’t imagine it.”

Mark nods, feeling that he doesn’t need to clarify anything because that’s it. There are no words to describe what Taeil is to him, to them, nor are there any words that could express how grateful he is to the eldest.

All he knows is that he fell in love with that dorky hyung because of simple sincerity and kindness.

It’s a month or so later and their designations into NCT 127 has been declared, and _yeah, the world is definitely against me_ , Mark thinks because not only is he in the same group as Taeil _again_ but they’re both dancing. And watching Taeil dance is not a healthy thing. Never has been. Never will be.

But no, that wasn’t the worst part, not by far because _fuck_ , Mark’s ears burned when he heard Taeil’s part in the song because it sounds like _pure sex._ And yeah, Mark knows he shouldn’t think of _that_ stuff given by how young he is, but he’s at that age that everyone knows for him to be a horny teenager. (Honestly, he’d rather them say he’s going through puberty because _horny?_ That word makes him _cringe_.)

Still, Mark persists with his perfected blank face and innocent facade while bickering with the other hyungs. He follows Taeyong everywhere to avoid the oldest. He helps Haechan with the pranks since it’s fun and he _kinda_ has a scapegoat. He’s glad that Doyoung is no longer there to baby him, and Sicheng is fun to talk to on occasion. Jaehyun is as strange as ever but Mark finds it funny sometimes. Especially when Sicheng tries to explain it in broken Korean and an attempt with bits of English.

But he sleeps in one day. A Sunday to be specific. They have a rest day, finally, and Mark wakes up around noon. He finds a note on his desk telling him that Taeyong thought Mark deserved a break, considering how Mark has been through two promotions _and_ school. Taeyong also thought Haechan deserved some ice cream for completing his homework on time despite needing some tutoring, so their leader took out the youngest with Yuta out. Jaehyun and Sicheng went wherever to do their thing.

And so, they all left him to fend for himself around Taeil, who Mark finds in the kitchen making eggs. The younger can smell the butter in the air and feels blinded (as always) by Taeil humming while flipping an egg with a spatula. He doesn’t realize he’s staring until Taeil’s voice wakes him, “Hey Mark, sleep well?”

Mark nods minutely, feigning exhaustion from sleeping too much. He settles at the table, waiting for the food, not really caring if it was made for him or not.

“Mark.”

“Yes, hyung?” Mark replies, keeping his eyes on the food that’s placed in front of him.

“You should relax. You work too hard. Practice too hard. You’ll grow old fast like Taeyong.”

Mark snorts but smiles gratefully, “Thank you.”

They sit in silence until they both finish the eggs and bread on their plate. The younger stands to take the dishes only to be stopped when Taeil does the same causing them to bump heads. Taeil giggles before asking, “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Mark replies blankly, enthralled by the sound of small laughter.

Taeil frowns, coming closer to put their heads close again. Mark can see the older’s dark brown eyes from so close and can’t help but barely tilt his head until their lips touch. He scrambles when he realizes his mistake, mumbling out a quick “Sorry” before attempting to escape. He hears the plates clatter back to the table and a hand grabbing at his wrist.

“Mark, stay.”

“Hyung?” Mark wonders quietly.

Taeil answers just as softly, “Please stay.”

The younger nods, shifting so their fingers entwine.

They remain silent until Taeil asks, voice desperate, “Will you be my wings?”

It shouldn’t make sense to Mark, but it does. To Mark’s ears, the words sound like, _Will you let me fly? Will you protect me as I will protect you? Will you take me to places I’ve never been?_ So the younger nods eagerly, “Yes, yes, hyung. Please. Anything for you. I love you so much.” He avoids Taeil’s gaze by putting his head on top of the older’s shoulder. “Yes, I will.”

Taeil pushes him away, showing Mark the brightest smile possible, and Mark can’t help but fall in love _again._ He thinks he’s head over heels but finds that this feeling can go even farther when Taeil says, “I love you too, Mark.”

And they’re done. Mark feels Taeil’s lips on his - soft, gentle, and chaste.

“Thank you,” Taeil breathes when they break apart. “Thank you so much.”

“Anything for you.”

_(When the other members return, Taeyong sees them cuddling on the couch, smiling happily for them. Yuta and Haechan try to tease them, but the second eldest glares at them, well aware that whatever Taeil had done, succeeded. Jaehyun and Sicheng arrive even later, both proud to see that Taeil had fallen asleep on Mark’s shoulder while the younger had his head rested on Taeil’s. Sicheng spots their hands tightly wound together and whispers, “Jaehyun, your plan was a great idea.” Jaehyun chuckles, “I’m just glad they got it sorted out.”)_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Jaeil and Markil pieces weren't exactly drabbles, oops. It seems that I ship Jaeil and Markil more than the rest.


End file.
